Many of you know, I have been upstate New York with my family these past couple of days. We were celebrating my nephew’s birthday. I am still feeling the extreme relief it is to spend time with my family safely.
As I walked into my niece’s bedroom, there were five handmade signs hung on her wall. At just ten years old, I was blown away at the motivation and encouragement each of these pieces of paper read. Although she used sayings and quotes she had found from the internet, she explained each of the signs to me in their entirety.
It got me thinking that, strangely, some of the best advice we receive is given to us before we are barely in the double digits. Powerful, yet, simple reminders such as: wear your sunscreen, eat your veggies, be kind, and how important sleep is. Yet, as adults, a lot of us struggle with all of this. We overcomplicate things and place unnecessary stress on ourselves. Perhaps when we feel all is lost, we need to reel it back in and bring it back down to the basics.
That is why this week, I had help writing these words from none other than my 10-year-old niece, Cameron. And while I’ll be sprinkling in additional “food for thought,” most of the ideas have come directly from her.
When I asked if she would be willing to sit down with me and write this week’s blog, she was excited and determined and wanted us to know a couple of things. Shockingly both topics we discussed come from the work of Stanford Psychologist Carol Dweck.
What We Can Do About A Caged Mindset
The first topic she wanted to tell me about was how to develop a growth mindset. I was both excited and impressed that she learned this concept from none other than her fourth-grade teacher.
There is a big difference between a growth mindset and a caged (or as Dweck calls it, fixed) mindset, she explained to me. It wasn’t that long ago that I was learning about what a growth mindset was myself. Inhibiting a growth mindset allows us to recognize that our qualities, talents, and intelligence are not fixed. You can see my Forbes article on the topic here.
Cameron also explained that when you feel that you have a caged mindset and don’t understand something, try to sleep on it, as it could be that you are overtired. I’ll expand on her thoughts and say this can also happen during a difficult season. I know that we can’t always see a solution easily when we feel like we have a cloud over our heads and are emotionally exhausted.
She also added:
it’s important not to push yourself during a hard time and instead, just allow yourself to breathe.
The Power Of Yet
The next nugget of wisdom she wanted us to know is about the power of yet. Yet—a little word, but a mighty one. Another concept coined by Dweck. When you add these little three letters, this can also aid in changing your mind to a growth mindset. The power of yet helps you to recognize that abilities can be developed. If something doesn’t come to you quickly or easily, that doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen. Instead, we need to reframe our thinking to:
“I’m not good at this…yet.”
“I can’t do it…yet.”
“I don’t know…yet.”
I looked into the topic further after Cameron explained it to me.
In Dweck’s Ted Talk, she opens up with a story about a High School in Chicago. Students needed to pass a certain number of courses to graduate. Instead of students receiving failing grades when they didn’t pass, they would see “not yet” on their report card instead of seeing a failing grade. I don’t know about you, but I immediately felt defeated whenever I saw a bad grade on a paper or test. I believe the concept of writing “not yet” is brilliant and can help give students hope that they could still pass if they kept trying. When students see a failing grade it may make them feel that they are helpless and incapable.
As adults, I believe we can take this one step further and use this strategy when we feel hampered and have gone off track or begin to feel a lull with something we’re trying to accomplish. Our “yet” sentences could be…
“I haven’t paid off my debt…yet.”
“I haven’t lost the weight…yet.”
“I can’t figure out how to solve this problem…yet.”
Formulating these sentences makes us feel that we aren’t headed towards failure if we don’t get it right the first time. Our ability to succeed is always right there waiting for us, no matter how many times we fall off track.
The next time you feel stifled with your progress, try reminding yourself about the power of yet.
I would love to hear in the comments.
Another great read! Love it.